The Doctor Weighs In

Today I saw Constance Congdon's adaptation of Moliere's 17th century play, "The Imaginary Invalid" and was rolling in the aisle with laughter.  But, as in all things humorous, there is an underlying, stinging veracity that makes you ponder, seriously, the very topics that have made you laugh.

First, some pictures, and then, the prologue to this wonderful play:

And now, back to the prologue of the play:

"We are doctors come to warn you of the phonies out to harm you, could your guru be a schmuck?  If it quacks, then it's a duck!

Your guru scoffs at your queries, and all his precious theories won't stand up to some flack?  If it ducks, then it's a quack! (Quack!)

If you are plagued by tintinitis, aggravated by bursitis, fatigue and headaches, with a rash...keep both hands upon your cash.  If someone sells you magic mud that will purify your blood, they are a lying sack.  If it ducks, then it's a quack.

Do not order things by mail that have just now gone on sale, straight to you from Tripoli, made from a secret recipe devised by monks (It's never nuns)....it might give you the runs.  There is something quite demonic in a high colonic.  Watch your purse and watch your back.  If it ducks, then it's a quack!

We're not doctors, we are actors, we refuse to be retractors.  Oh yes, verily, forsooth, we are here to tell the truth.

We PLAY doctors come to warn you of the phonies out to harm you.  Could your guru be a hack?  If it ducks, then it's a quack."

If you would like to learn more about "Growth Hormone Schemes and Scams,"  and other quackery, check out QuackWatch.org.  It is an eye opener.  Quack!

Pat Salber, MD